Can we talk about left backs? No position has come close to generating more of a clusterf*** this year for Togga managers and I refuse to let this season expire without some full-throated moaning about them. After all, I spent two moderately high draft picks on Benjamin Mendy and Sead Kolasinac, so I’m clearly entitled. Take a look at the following list and @ me with your own suggestions for frustrating LBs. To be clear, these are players whose role has statistically significant relevance to Togga.

  • The Manchesters: Mendy, Delph, Danilo, Zinchenko and Blind, Young, Shaw
  • Liverpool: Moreno, Milner, Robertson
  • Arsenal: Kolasinac and Maitland-Niles
  • Tottenham: Davies and Rose
  • Burnley: Ward (injured 2 months)
  • Leicester City: Fuchs, Chilwell
  • Everton: Baines, Kenny

Nonetheless, when GW38 has come and gone, Marcos Alonso will most likely maintain his reign as Top Scoring Defender, so there’s that. I’m also loath to admit, god dammit, that Ashley Young not only earned his place in the first 11 at United, but he also deserves to be a starting wingback (left or right) for England at WC2018. He offers something that England have in short supply and will certainly make more of an opportunity than Danny Rose. Happy now, @Mike P? Ugh, where’d I put the Scotch…

Let’s get started.

  • Studs: The prospect of the resumed BVB bromance between Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Aubaumeyang that provided many so many Togga managers with wet dreams in January has finally come good. It turns out, the only aphrodisiac needed was a few fixtures against SkyBet sides. Welp, let the the nocturnal pleasures continue, ’cause here come Stoke, without a win since January! You’re a bold lunatic if you start Zouma, @Chuck.
  • Duds: If you intend to start a Bournemouth forward this week, pinch your nose and choose Joshua King. Yes, he’s only on four goals through 26 appearances, but his production is much safer and comes from plenty of take-ons and chances created (he’s top two in both categories for the club). Callum Wilson, on the other hand, hasn’t scored a goal since late January. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Eddie Howe gives Jermain Defoe another look, perhaps Saturday against West Ham, the club where he scored 29 goals starting in…1999. Wow. Take up fishing or something, Jermain.
1David De GeaKyle WalkerKevin De BruyneMohamed Salah
2Nick PopeAndrew RobertsonDavid SilvaRoberto Firmino
3Petr CechAntonio ValenciaSadio ManeP.E. Aubameyang
4Loris KariusMarcos AlonsoRiyad MahrezGabriel Jesus
5Martin DubravkaNicolas OtamendiEden HazardRomelu Lukaku
6Jack ButlandHarry MaguireHenrikh MkhitaryanJamie Vardy
7Lukasz FabianskiNacho MonrealLeroy SaneRaheem Sterling
8EdersonJames MilnerHeung-Min SonMarcus Rashford
9Thibaut CourtoisSerge AurierWillianMarko Arnautovic
10Hugo LlorisMatthew LowtonChristian EriksenAlexis Sanchez
11Mat RyanEric BaillyPaul PogbaTroy Deeney
12Alex McCarthyShkodran MustafiJunior StanislasGlenn Murray
13Kasper SchmeichelBen DaviesXherdan ShaqiriAshley Barnes
14Jordan PickfordBen MeeDele AlliSteve Mounie
15Jonas LosslLuke ShawWilfried ZahaSalomon Rondon
16Orestis KarnezisTrent Alexander-ArnoldOxlade-ChamberlainJoshua King
17Ben FosterShane DuffyJ. Berg GudmundssonChristian Benteke
18AdrianChristopher SmallingAbdoulaye DoucoureGuido Carrillo
19Asmir BegovicVirgil Van DijkPascal GrossDwight Gayle
20Wayne HennesseyStephen WardMesut OzilRicharlison
21Hector BellerinErik LamelaJay Rodriguez
22Jose HolebasManuel LanziniWayne Rooney
23Cesar AzpilicuetaMarc AlbrightonPeter Crouch
24James TarkowskiJames Ward-ProwseCallum Wilson
25Christopher SchindlerMichail AntonioOlivier Giroud
26Jan VertonghenAaron Mooy
27Laurent KoscielnyMatt Ritchie
28Victor MosesJordon Ibe
29Charlie DanielsIlkay Gundoggan
30Cedrid SoaresAndros Townsend
31Ben ChilwellN'Golo Kante
32Vincent KompanyJesse Lingard
33Davinson SanchezNathan Redmond
34Jamaal LascellesChris Brunt
35Ryan BertrandYohan Cabaye
36Patrick Van AanholtMohamed Diame
37Aaron CresswellWilfried Ndidi
38Seamus ColemanMatthew Phillips
39Kurt ZoumaGranit Xhaka
40Daryl JanmaatJoe Allen

This season, our weekly fantasy Premier League ranks are a one-man affair, with Benji Wade taking over the mantle. You can find him on Twitter: .