GW25 made fools of many, but there was justice in the end for anybody who bothered to listen to my suggestions as my week ended in ignominious defeat. I started Zappacosta over Trippier, Barkley over Stanislas, Robertson over Milner, but it was a saved penalty and a key pass (are you #$%@ing kidding me?) from Nick Pope that finished me off. Of course, Chelsea, Arsenal, and United all shitting the bed didn’t help.

I didn’t own Phil Jones, but I deserved to.

I know I wasn’t alone, so let’s all have a nice group hug and get started.

  • Studs: I’m done disparaging Callum Wilson. With Stanislas as provider, being a true #10, Wilson’s nose for goal is unquestionable. You may confidently start either of them against Stoke at the Vitality. Be aware that King could start and not once have King / Stanislas started together. Eddie Howe has no easy task in choosing between Stanislas, Ibe, and King. We all know it should be the ones not named Josh King, hopefully Howe sees that, too.
  • More Studs: Mesut Ozil and Andros Townsend have put in two of the quietest but nonetheless highly productive years in fantasy. Armed with a new contract that pays £350,000 per week and two new former BVB playmates in Aubaumeyang and Mkhitaryan has caused my crystal ball to explode. Townsend, meanwhile, is top 10 in chances created, #3 in successful dribbles, and tied for #12 in assists among midfielders.
  • Duds: Ross effing Barkley. I warned myself, I warned others, and I let one moment of excitability with Chuck convince me to start him against Bournemouth. Simply put, he does not get a rank until he proves, in successive contests, that he’s back to being useful at football. He was subbed off in the 58th minute for Fabregas, who should have rightfully felt slighted not to get the start.
 GoalkeepersDefendersMidfieldersForwards
1David De GeaMarcos AlonsoKevin De BruyneSergio Aguero
2EdersonAntonio ValenciaChristian EriksenHarry Kane
3Mat RyanCesar AzpilicuetaEden HazardMohamed Salah
4Thibaut CourtoisNacho MonrealMesut OzilRomelu Lukaku
5Kasper SchmeichelKyle WalkerSadio ManeRoberto Firmino
6Lukasz FabianskiChris SmallingHeung-Min SonRaheem Sterling
7Petr CechNicolas OtamendiPaul PogbaAlexis Sanchez
8Jack ButlandVictor MosesRiyad MahrezAlexander Lacazette
9Hugo LlorisAymeric LaporteWilfried ZahaCallum Wilson
10AdrianHarry MaguireAndros TownsendJamie Vardy
11Jordan PickfordPhil JonesXherdan ShaqiriChristian Benteke
12Ben FosterBen DaviesBernardo SilvaAnthony Martial
13Wayne HennesseyShkodran MustafiJunior StanislasTheo Walcott
14Alex McCarthyShane DuffyHenrikh MkhitaryanChicharito
15Heurelho GomesKieran TrippierDele AlliRicharlison
16Loris KariusKurt ZoumaOxlade-ChamberlainJordan Ayew
17Asmir BegovicHector BellerinJesse LingardJay Rodriguez
18Nick PopeAndrew RobertsonMarc AlbrightonTroy Deeney
19Karl DarlowAaron CresswellPascal GrossCenk Tosun
20Jonas LosslSimon FrancisAaron RamseyMame Diouf
21Jan VertonghenJordon IbeOlivier Giroud
22Antonio RudigerN'Golo KanteGlenn Murray
23Charlie DanielsMousa DembeleDaniel Sturridge
24Ryan ShawcrossIlkay GundogganGerard Deulofeu
25Nathan AkeEmre CanJoselu
26Ryan BertrandChoupo-Moting
27Moritz BauerGylfi Sigurdsson
28Laurent KoscielnyFernandinho
29Gary CahillAbdoulaye Doucoure
30Craig DawsonJames Warde-Prowse
31Patrick Van AanholtYohan Cabaye
32Virgil Van DijkJoao Mario
33Steve CookJ. Berg Gudmundsson
34Pablo ZabaletaRyan Fraser
35Jamaal LascellesDusan Tadic
36Mamadou SakhoWilfried Ndidi
37Ahmed HegaziMark Noble
38Christian FuchsCheikh Kouyate
39Alfie MawsonLuka Milivojevic
40Timothy Fosu-MensahJoe Allen

This season, our weekly fantasy Premier League ranks are a one-man affair, with Benji Wade taking over the mantle. You can find him on Twitter: .