Heading into GW12, a gaggle of the nerdiest among the Togga faithful dissected yet another FPL_Murph trade proposal, which presents a suitable microcosm of where things stand with the fantasy end of England’s top flight football: Jamie Vardy + Paul Pogba for Sergio Aguero + Sead Kolasinac. Of the participants, JohnMike P, Sean, and Andrew liked the Vardy/Pogba side while Chuck and I thought it was asinine to give up Aguero. What follows below is a summary of the rhetoric involved.

  • Pogba has been hurt for two months and before form comes fitness. It’s tempting to pin the hopes of an attacking renaissance on Pogba’s recovery, but a closer look at United’s early season marauding reveals more than the loss of Pogba. Simply put, they played crap teams for a dozen straight fixtures until Mourinho moped into Anfield to earn a point in a bloodless 0-0 draw against their first real competition. Subsequently, United have managed just 8 goals from six, including a 1-0 loss to Chelsea and a 1-0 defeat of Kaneless Spurs. In other words, it’s not only Pogba’s injury but Mourinho being Mourinho.
  • Claud Puel has proven that the problem with Southampton may indeed by Southampton. Leicester are well-organized and have rediscovered the teeth in their counterattacking. Mahrez is in a rich vein of form, too, so Horrible Person Jamie Vardy may be worth keeping around.
  • It turns out Murph has Lukaku, which led to the conversation about the perils of being too dependent on United for scoring.
  • Here’s my scientific evidence of why Aguero and Kolasinac have so much more to offer. Look at them. Those dudes are just so much better looking. Facts.

Without further ado and with two of my mancrushes now declared, let’s get started.

  • Postscript from GW11: Ramsey and Fernandinho finished inside the top 12, but Bakayoko and Mooy had stinkers. The one useful thing Choupo-Moting did over 90 minutes accounted for 9 of his 13.5 points, so I remain, ahem, unimpressed. *sips tea and extends pinky finger*
  • Studs: What else does Richarlison have to do earn Top Five consideration? Watford are at home against a hapless shitcake called West Ham. Among forwards, to complement his four goals and league-leading 4 assists, he’s top five in tackles and interceptions, #7 in aerials won, #1 in successful take-ons, and #9 in key passes. Go ahead and tell me why he’s not deserving of the respect I’ve given him this week (and probably rest of season). No really, please @ me.
  • Duds: Manolo Gabbiadini still gets Top 20 nods from rankers with zero justification. Southampton are headed to Anfield to get ran into the dirt and no amount of playing deep, dull, defensive football will lead to production from the still-sulking-post-Sweden Italian striker. NO REALLY, PLEASE @ ME.
 GoalkeepersDefendersMidfieldersForwards
1David de GeaKyle WalkerKevin De BruyneHarry Kane
2Lukasz FabianskiMarcos AlonsoChristian EriksenMohamed Salah
3Nick PopeAntonio ValenciaSadio ManeSergio Aguero
4Mat RyanSead KolasinacEden HazardRoberto Firmino
5Asmir BegovicCesar AzpilicuetaDavid SilvaRicharlison
6Kasper SchmeichelSerge AurierPhilippe CoutinhoRomelu Lukaku
7Jordan PickfordJan VertonghenLeroy SaneAlvaro Morata
8Jonas LosslDanny RoseDele AlliAlexis Sanchez
9Fraser ForsterVirgil Van DijkAaron RamseyRaheem Sterling
10Thibaut CourtoisStephen WardWilfried ZahaAlexander Lacazette
11Heurelho GomesNacho MonrealMesut OzilJamie Vardy
12Simon MignoletBen MeeRiyad MahrezGabriel Jesus
13Hugo LlorisChris SmallingCesc FabregasMarcus Rashford
14Petr CechAlberto MorenoXherdan ShaqiriWayne Rooney
15Joe HartShane DuffyManuel LanziniPedro
16Rob ElliotEric BaillyAnthony KnockaertJoshua King
17EdersonCedric SoaresYohan CabayeSteve Mounie
18Ben FosterCharlie DanielsHeung-Min SonMame Biram Diouf
19Lee GrantDavide ZappacostaHenrikh MkhitaryanTammy Abraham
20Julian SperoniLeighton BainesPascal GrossChris Wood
21Matthew LowtonFernandinhoGlenn Murray
22Christian FuchsNathan RedmondAndy Carroll
23Ryan BertrandAbdoulaye DoucouréDominic Calvert-Lewin
24John StonesAndros TownsendAndre Gray
25Kyle NaughtonSofiane BoufalManolo Gabbiadini
26James TarkowskiAaron Mooy
27Aaron CresswellN'Golo Kante
28Kurt ZoumaMatt Ritchie
29Maya YoshidaDavy Propper
30Harry MaguireChoupo-Moting
31Vincent KompanyTiemoué Bakayoko
32Jose HolebasDusan Tadic
33Joel MatipGranit Xhaka
34Martin OlssonTom Cleverley
35Hector BellerinRobbie Brady
36Kiko FermeniaWilfried Ndidi
37Simon FrancisTom Ince
38ZankaSteven Davis
39Davinson SanchezNemanja Matic
40Nathan AkeOriol Romeu

This season, our weekly fantasy Premier League ranks are a one-man affair, with Benji Wade taking over the mantle. You can find him on Twitter: .